I have a son who is different than other kids his age. I’ve known this for a while. He is sensitive, emotional, fearful, hyper, talkative, doesn’t like sports, smart, sweet, and really a great kid.
Because he is different people (parents mostly!) love to diagnose him. He has ADHD. He is a bully. He needs a good spanking. He needs discipline. He needs… He needs… He needs….
Now I admit, I can be a slacker parent. Sometimes I just don’t want to play Minecraft. Sometimes it’s easier just to let him watch videos instead of having him try some kind of activity outside the home. But the one thing people need to know and I have been quiet about, is that I will do anything to make sure my kids are healthy.
I know my son is different. You really don’t need to tell me that. I don’t know exactly what he needs right now, but we are working with professionals to find that out. But I know one thing, you do NOT know what my child needs. Yeah, he may have ADHD. Yeah, he may deal with anxiety. But that is not for YOU to diagnose. That is for the professionals.
A friend of mine has a sweet, talented, little boy who is in Kindergarten. He doesn’t fit the mold of the perfect male Kindergartner. He doesn’t do all the same things the other kids do during play time. He is fine playing alone. So according to some he must be, autistic! This kid one day shows one sign of autism and people run with it. He shows no other signs.
Why do people insist on diagnosing children? Why are people taking children and trying to fit them into this predetermined bubble? We talk about bullying in school, but it’s the adults doing the bullying. We are taking children who are different and forcing them to be something they are not. It’s upsetting and frustrating to families.
If you want to help, next time you see my son and he’s wiggling, talking too loudly, upset at some minor thing, refusing to do some activity out of fear, or some other thing that isn’t like what other kids do, keep your diagnosis to yourself. Instead, tell my son how awesome he is and listen as he talks to you about the latest thing he loves to do. And if we need your help with anything relating to his learning, his growing, and his health, we will let you know.